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Old Guard / IF Central Command Post / Barracks / IA Quadrant - Barracks, #17
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Emotions Legend
[quote][b]Kat (Nov 05, 2002 06:26 p.m.):[/b] Kat sat alone in their room and wondered if he'd ever come back. It was foolish, to think of Mode leaving her, but for all its irrationality she let herself fall prey to her fear. He'd left his belongings in the room and so she refused to leave, knowing that if he wanted his things then he'd have to face her first. It made perfect sense for the first two days, but as time wore on and still Mode remained away, Kat found herself trapped by horrible possibilities. [i]What if he won't forgive me? What if he hates me?[/i] She'd returned from the infirmary three days ago to find him gone. That much she'd expected; the betrayal in his eyes needed time to fade, and she needed a chance to soothe herself, to mute the defiance and guilt and rage that had sprung up the moment she saw Wick laying bloody on the floor. But she believed he would come home before long and demand an explanation, and she waited, anxious and angry all at once. When she woke in the morning and found that he hadn't returned, she began to worry. The secretary in the IA sector faced a furiously shaken Kat and, surprisingly, managed to stand her ground, giving only the refusal that Lieutenant Terrance was occupied and couldn't see visitors. Couldn't or [i]wouldn't[/i] held no distinction in Kat's mind, and she took it like a stab to her heart. Mode didn't want to see her. She retreated dully to her bed and cried her fear into the pillow, and still he was gone when morning of the second day crept past. Now it was night, the evening of the third day, and Kat could stand it no longer. She idly stroked the scar upon her wrist and tried to reason away the need, but it was too insistent. [i]Just once...[/i] she promised herself as she drew a thin line down the underside of her arm, but once turned into twice, then thrice... and soon enough the carpet below her soaked red with her pain, and Kat buried her face into bloody hands and cried. [i]I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for knowing your enemy and I'm sorry for breaking my promise. But don't leave me, please. I couldn't bear it a second time.[/i] The little demon that guarded her rage took one look at her misery and screamed its displeasure. It wanted out, it wanted [i]destruction[/i], and Kat's sobs turned to a scream as she gave in to her desire to [i]break[/i]. Like a small child she threw everything she could lay her little clawed hands on; a chair, the desk terminal, her clothes and Mode's boots and anything that wasn't bolted to the floor. She was still crying and muttering incoherently when she ripped the blankets from their bed, and retreated to an old sanctuary, doing something she hadn't felt the need for until now. Kat hid in the closet, in a jumble of sheets and blankets, and couldn't stop crying. [i]Come back...[/i][/quote]
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