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Old Guard / IF Central Command Post / Public Areas / IA Quadrant Office Block - Lt. Terrence
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Emotions Legend
[quote][b]Asmodeus (Nov 07, 2002 10:05 p.m.):[/b] Mode ran the feed back once more and watched it again. Wick appeared, Daniels appeared, their little altercation getting more serious as Wick taunted him. Then, just before the real damage could be done, Kat appeared. [i]Was this a hobby for you, Kitten? Saving her?[/i] Kat gave Daniels an ultimatum, but she was moving in on him before he had a chance to respond. Mode had spent countless hours watching Kat when she'd still been in Command School while he'd been waiting for her to graduate, waiting for Vaisou to say he'd done enough to earn his own commission. He'd grown painfully used to the quiet emptiness of her expression, the slow deliberation of her movements, and the perpetually blank, lifeless look in her eyes. His consolation to himself had been a promise to both of them that once they were together, she would never had a reason to look that way again. As he watched her attack, he saw her come to life. For a few moments, as she was hurting Daniels, Katera [i]glowed[/i], and she was just as he remembered her before he'd been taken from Command School, vibrant and bloodthirsty and [i]alive[/i]. He paused the frame after Daniels ran away. He didn't want to see the kiss again; he'd seen it enough to know that it hadn't been Kat who'd initiated it. If anything could be trusted from Wick's facial expression - and he doubted it - neither had planned it. He'd also seen the incomprehension afterward on Katera's face, followed by angry frustration, followed by a forlorn look of loss that made him wince each time it played through. He'd seen her go back to her room and curl in her bed and ached to hold her close. At first, he hadn't understood why Kat would have chosen to protect her to begin with. It had taken more hours of digging through the files that he had, hours upon hours of searching in fast forward through fragments of Kat's solitary life to find the few moments they'd spent together. He'd located their first meeting, brought about indirectly by him; Wick had tried to pick a fight, and he'd dropped her in an alcove for Kat to find. Watching Kat back then didn't bother him, but watching himself... Some time during the second night since Windhaven had left the station, he'd turned away from Katera for an hour and watched himself instead. He saw what he'd done to Wick in the storage bay. It made his stomach turn and put him in a cold sweat. He saw how helpless the girl really was against him, and how aware she must have been that he could kill her, if he wanted to. That hour of self-inspection traded a good deal of his old anger for shame. Wick certainly had valid cause to think she was in danger. What would he have done in her place? Waited for his enemy to come to him and hope the authorities arrived in time? That concept was too great for him to absorb immediately, and he'd gone back to Kat, watching her talk to Wick, watching them make each other smile. They were always guarded smiles. They were often cruel smiles. But no one else made Katera smile quite that way - or Wick either, from the limited view he had of her. There was something between them, but it wasn't sex, and it wasn't really [i]friendship[/i]; at least, not to anyone else. [i]You were alone after I left, Kat. Who else could you have spoken to? You avoided her when you could, and when you couldn't...you saved her, and then left her alone again. I saw how restlessly you slept after you saw her. You would have grown close to her, if you hadn't been thinking of me.[/i] For three days he hid himself in his office, refusing visitors and ignoring Vaisou as his feeling of betrayal slowly lost its heat and congealed into sadness and muddy guilt. He checked on Katera every now and then. She was staying in their quarters, concentrating fiercely on nothing, and waiting for him to return. When there was nothing more to see, he shut down his terminal and sat in the dark. [i]I love her. None of it matters anyway, not anymore. I know she loves me. Why am I still here? I should go back. It's been three days. I should go back.[/i] Three more hours passed before he followed his advice.[/quote]
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