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Emotions Legend
[quote][b]Asmodeus (Dec 12, 2002 10:04 p.m.):[/b] The nurse on duty took one look at the bundle he was carrying and hit the on-call button. Mode laid her carefully on the bed and the nurse immediately moved into action. There was a brisk examination and a needle, and then the doctor came in with a second nurse and immediately pulled the curtain to so he couldn't see what was happening. A third nurse touched his arm and said something, and attempted to lead him away. He jerked away and looked at her, and she swallowed. There was pity on her face, and it scared him enough to take her by the arms and [i]dare[/i] her to tell him Kat wasn't alright. "Mr. Terrence, [i]please[/i]," the nurse half-demanded, half-pleaded, and he released her. "What did you say?" She straightened her uniform and repeated herself warily. "Sir, your wife has just gone into surgery. It may be a while yet. The doctor asked that I make you comfortable in his office." Mode blinked at her and then took a step forward and ripped the curtain aside. Kat's bed was gone. "She's...in surgery?" The nurse's voice was less wary and more understanding now. "Yes, sir. He thought it best that they go ahead and deliver the baby now - less stressful for both of them." She took a step toward the doctor's office, and Mode took a step towards her. "I'll make you some coffee. You just have a seat in here," she led him in and got him to sit down, "and the doctor will be in as soon as he's out of surgery." "What's going on? What's wrong with her? What happened?" "I don't know, sir," said the nurse with mild asperity, "but I [i]do[/i] know that you interfering at this point is only going to delay and hinder what he's doing in there, and you're going to have to wait." The look on his face must have told her what he was feeling, because her face softened somewhat. "Don't worry too much, Mr. Terrence. Dr. Rys is an excellent physician. I'm sure he's doing all they can for them. It won't be more than an hour." [i]An hour.[/i] His life to this point hadn't been nearly so long, and he buried his face in his hands and waited for it to begin again. The office door opened, and Mode was on his feet before the doctor made it halfway to his desk. When he saw the doctor's face, however, he sat back down heavily. The man looked worn out and tired, and Mode was interpreting death and sickness for his wife and child from the lines on his forehead and the circles under his eyes until the man spoke. "They're both stable, Mr. Terrence," he said in a surprisingly firm voice, and the younger man sagged back in his chair and tried not to cry with relief. The doctor waited until his breathing evened out and then offered him a box of tissues, which he gratefully accepted. "What...what happened to her?" "Your wife suffered from a severe case of eclampsia, Mr. Terrence," said the doctor reprovingly, leaning back against his desk and crossing his arms. "I told you to contact me if she started experiencing any symptoms that might indicate a pre-eclampsia state. In my professional opinion, there is no way this degree of illness could have approached completely undetected. Why didn't you tell me?" [i]She didn't tell me. Why didn't she tell me? I should have noticed. I should have paid more attention. I should have kept a closer eye on her. I should have taken [/i]care[i] of her.[/i] "I'm sorry," he said weakly. "I didn't know." The doctor regarded him with pity. "Then she just wasn't telling you. When you brought your wife in, she wasn't even breathing. We had to bring her back, Mr. Terrence. She was almost gone. It was a very close thing." [i]Had to...bring her back?[/i] Mode stared at the doctor, trying to imagine what he would have done if Kat had died, and trying just as hard not to. He couldn't see past it, that point in his life when Kat was no longer a part of it. He only saw black, and that wasn't something he could handle - not right now, and maybe not ever. [i]But...but it's ok, now. He said they're stable. What's wrong?[/i] "But she's alright now?" he asked without pre-amble. "Yes, she's alright. But the delivery had complications. The eclampsia was the first problem. There was some hemorraghing as well. We had to give her a transfusion. She's going to be fine, Mr. Terrence, but...but it would be best if she didn't have any more children." [i]No more children.[/i] After facing the ultimate price, this seemed like a cheap alternative, and Mode struggled to feel the sadness he knew he should at that statement. [i]No more children. But Kat's alright, and...[/i] [i]No [/i]more[i] children.[/i] "The baby." He searched the doctor's face. "The baby's alright too?" Dr. Rys finally smiled, and Mode didn't realize he'd been waiting for it until he felt himself relax. "Yes, he's fine. Quite healthy and an excellent size, especially considering his prematurity. If you'll come with me, you can see them both." The doctor offered him a hand, and Mode took it. He went to see Kat first. Her cheeks were still flushed with the transfusion, but she was breathing evenly and didn't appear to be in any distress. They had her connected to a system monitor, but she was respirating on her own and the only other machine attached to her was an IV drip. "She'll be fine," said Dr. Rys reassuringly. "She's had a very rough time of it. She'll probably sleep for a day or two and then wake up hungry." Mode took her hand, and the doctor left him alone with his wife. He sat down shakily in the seat next to her. Her skin was warm, and he kissed her palm and put her hand on his cheek. She didn't even stir, and the tears he'd managed to restrain in the doctor's office spilled over and left him weak and empty, sobbing against her unresponsive fingertips until he'd bled himself of his terror and sat leaned over with his forehead on the edge of her bed. [i]Oh, Kat, why didn't you tell me?[/i] [center]~~~[/center] When he emerged, there was a nurse waiting to take him to the nursery. There wasn't enough demand on a military command post to have a full-time dedicated nursery, but there was a small area in the ICU reserved for infants. The baby was over a month premature; Mode expected it - expected [i]him[/i] - to be locked away in an incubator or another sort of sterile environment, but after the nurse gave him a mask she led him to an open cradle and said he could hold him if he wished. Asleep in the cradle was a very small old man, with a little wrinkled face and a light down of blonde hair the same color as his. The baby had his nose, too, but the delicate little eyebrows, barely visible, had the same arch Kat's did. In every feature Mode was able to place himself and Kat together, and he looked at his son so long that the nurse grinned at him. "Mr. Terrence?" He couldn't pull his eyes away. It was incredible, really. The baby looked just like Kat. It looked just like him, too. And instead of being a distant amorphous Baby, something to buy things for and blame for Kat's bad moods, it was now a living, breathing reality. A person he and Kat had made together. "Mr. Terrence?" The nurse repeated his name, and he finally looked up, a small, wondering smile on his face. "Aren't you going to pick him up?" Mode blinked. "But...he's sleeping," he said with a surprised tone of voice. "I don't want to wake him up." The nurse laughed. "I think it'd be alright with him. He hasn't had a proper hug yet." Mode looked back down at the fragile creature in the cradle and counted that an excellent thing, but he gingerly reached down into the cradle and put his hands on either side of the infant. The nurse gave him an encouraging look. "Go on. Be sure you put your hand under his head to support it, and he'll be fine. The baby seemed to weigh nothing as he lifted him free of the cradle, but it was the most precious nothing he'd ever held. The nurse smiled at his slow, deliberate movements and tucked the blanket in around the child. Mode felt him stir, saw the little brow furrow as the baby became aware of the lower temperature of the world, and cradled him close to his chest. After a few more seconds of small baby wiggling, the baby decided it had been a fluke, and went back to sleep. The nurse let him stay all day. He learned to feed the baby and to change his diapers, and he left to see Kat once each hour, but in between lessons and checking on Kat Mode held his son and watched over him while he slept. Kat was tough, and there was nothing he could do for her until she woke up; here he was needed, and so here he stayed. Eventually the doctor told him to go home and get some sleep, and Mode said no. The overnight nurse finally convinced the doctor that she would keep an eye on him, and the doctor shrugged and went home himself. The next morning Vaisou insisted he return to work, but for the next two days, Mode spent his evenings in the infirmary. He and the overnight nurse ate dinner together. When the baby woke crying, Mode always let the nurse examine him before he took him. The third night he woke up four times, and wouldn't stop crying until Mode had walked him around for a few minutes each time. "He's fine," said the nurse when she saw his worried look. "He just got lonely in here all by himself, is all, I'd bet. You hold him all day. He got used to it." Mode returned her smile faintly, but he knew better. [i]I miss her too. I miss her too.[/i][/quote]
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