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Old Guard / Command School / Out of Character / VIVARIN!@#
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Emotions Legend
[quote][b]Denali (Jun 02, 2001 12:43 a.m.):[/b] Ian: What do you think of Vivarin, Amy? Den: VIVARIN IS THE DRUG OF THE GODS! SCREW CRACK! I'M GOING TO BE A PIRATE! ARGH MATEY ITS TIME TO WALK THE FUCKING PLANK INTO A SEA OF VIVARIN! THEN YOU CAN'T DROWN YOU'LL JUST FLY RIGHT OUT OF IT! WEEEEEEEEE! BZZZZZ BZZZZZ WAKA WAKA VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Did you know that I'm going to be a drug lord in Brazil? Only it's going to be shiploads of VIVARIN imported into Mexico. Heroine is for amateurs, man! FORGET THOSE PUSSY DRUGS! VIVARIN IS WHERE IT'S AT, DADDY-O! Ian: So you like it then? Den: If Action Man likes Vivarin, then so do I! Too bad he's pointing his gun at me, he's making me say all this Vivarin propoganda. Vivarin. Little. Yellow. Extremely exciting. Buy Vivarin today at your local pharmacy or grocery store. Just $3.99 for sixteen wonderful little pills. Not pills. Pieces of FUN! Bits of excitement! One pill = Two cups of coffee. Sixteen pills = 16 x 2 I can't do math. Screw math. All you need is fucking Vivarin, man! I'm dropping out of school and buying a motorcycle and a pager and I'm going to be a Vivarin dealer! Imagine all the money I can make! HOLY SCHNIKEY! I'LL BE A FREAKIN' MILLIONAIRE! A BILLIONAIRE! A TRILLIONAIRE! A QUADRUPLE HYPER-SUPAH KAZILLIONAIRE! And then I'll buy a yacht. A yacht with a tennis court and rock climbing wall on it. And a T3 like just for me. AND A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF VIVARIN! Ian: Vivarin is my friend. It makes me feel wonderful and good. Aren't you glad I introduced you two? Den: Vivarin and I are going to get married and have little hyperactive children. VIVARIN BABIES! We can move to Utah so I can marry Action Man and Ians too. It's like reverse polygamy. Shit. Mormons think men are the only ones that can have more than one significant other. You know what I say to that? BAH! Not just bah, SUPAH-BAH! You know that all those women in Utah are wishing that they could have multiple husbands. Think of all the WAS! I'm going to free them all and then we can open our horse/man ranch and have Wesley Snipes and Russell Crowe and who else were we going to have, Bec? I can't remember. I think Romeo was one. And Rem, tied up just for you. And whoever else strikes our fancy. OH YEAH! And we're going to track down that Mode-boy from the airport and have him too! Did I mention that I love Vivarin? I think I forgot to. I LOVE VIVARIN WOOOOO BZZZ VROOOOOOOOM! Ian: Here, have another pill. *hands vivarin* You look like you're slowing down. Den: *flies around room by flapping arms really really really fast* LOOK I CAN FLY JUST LIKE A HUMMINGBIRD! BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZ BZZZZZ VROOOOM BZZZZZ BZZZZZ. I bet if I take more I can fly all the way to Texas. Let's try it! MORE VIVARIN FOR ME PLEASE! GIVE ME A VIVARIN IV! I WANT TO SNORT VIVARIN! MAKE A FREAKIN' VIVARIN PATCH SO I CAN HAVE A CONSTANT RUSH! Dude, I could make so much money off of this shit. I'll be a trazillionaire. Yacht? Screw a yacht! Food? Screw eating! ALL I NEED IS VIVARIN, BABY! Dude, we're foyne ass Vivarin-junkie shawties over here. Vivarin makes you sexy. Eat Vivarin and you'll be popular and famous just like us. We're going to be on the news and have our own website. They're going to make a band to sing Vivarin-related songs about us. We'll even get our own syndicated television show, starring Moesha. "The Viva-pals." "Mighty Morphing Vivarin Rangers." "Teenage Mutant Vivarin Turtles." Whoa, did I say turtles?! TURTLES! VIVARIN TURTLES! TURTLES SMELL ewww just like Rem, but Vivarin is GOOD! GOOD GOOD GOOD! GREAT GREAT GREAT! IT'S SUPER WONDERFUL. Ians says I'm insane but I don't believe it. I'm just crazy in all those delightful, naughty little ways. La la la la la la. Action Man thinks Becca is cute. I'm jealous. BITE ME, ACTION MAN! SHE'S MINE! MINE MINE MINE ALL MINE NO ONE ELSE CAN TOUCH! Ian: Er. When I say "insane," I of course mean it in the "loveable huggable insanity" not the bad kind, with the shooting and the maiming and the killing mmhay! Den: Did you know that Action Man has nipples? And he's not wearing any underpants, either. Whoa! Just like me! Wait. Did I just say that out loud? I said the loud part soft and the soft part loud! OH SHIT! I CAN'T CONTROL THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE! I'M TRYING TO WHISPER, GODDAMNIT! AM I WHISPERING NOW? I CAN'T TELL! SOMEONE STOP ME BEFORE... ahhhhhh Action Man is pointing a 9mm Beretta pistol at me, and he's smirking. I think he's thinking naughty dirty thoughts. Bad Action Man! You filthy bastard! Noooooooooo! Don't take me! You can have the knife and Ians and the Vivarin! OH WAIT! NOT THE VIVARIN! [b]NOT MY PRECIOUS PRECIOUS VIVARIN![/b] Ian: HEY! Den: Um, I didn't mean that, not really, Ians. Okay, so I did. I LOVE VIVARIN! VIVARIN MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND AND THE STARS SHINE AND THE SUN GLOW WARM AND SUNSHINEY OVER US ALL! Hey guys? Wanna know something really cool? Vivarin is even the same color as the sun. Yellow. Round. MESMERIZING. And it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The murderous kind of warm and fuzzy. Hey! Are you staring at me, punk?! You want a piece of this?! BRING IT ON, MOTHERFUCKER! I'VE GOT A BLOODY KNIFE WITH YOUR NAME WRITTEN ALL OVER IT! C'MERE, PUSSYBOY, I'LL GIVE YOU A TASTE OF YOUR OWN VIVARIN MEDICINE! *stabstabstabstabstab* I want a gun. Ian: Um. Amy? Den: There is no Amy. There is only the Vivarin goddess. ALL HAIL ME, THE VIVARIN GODDESS! Ian: Aha. Well, uh, anyways. Who are you talking to and why are you slashing the air like that? Den: Rem is a bloody liar. *thunk* *thunk* *thunk* *thunk* *thunk* *thunk* Sorry, Bec. The wind was making my head nod. Ian: It's true. She really is bashing her head against the desk. Not having much of an effect, far as I can tell. I think the caffiene has warped her senses. Den: I need more Vivarin. Bye guys.[/quote]
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