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Old Guard / Command School / Out of Character / France
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[quote][b]Johan (Jul 12, 2001 06:32 a.m.):[/b] And now.... Ask Mr. French-Man!!!! Q:Mr French-Man, I understand that you can actually [i]speak french[/i]? A:Oui, I parle French tres often. Q: Thank goodnes, because you see, I'm about to take a trip to France, and I was wondercing if you could help me how to order. A: Of course, fire away. Q:How would I order, in a french speaking restaurant, say, the catch of the day? A:"Je voudrais le poisson dans votre pantalons." Q:Wow! Thanks. What about if you've had too much wine, and you need to use the restroom; what should you say? A:"Je vais faire une fleuve; avez-vous soif?" Q:You're pretty cute when you talk like a foreigner, you know that? A:Well, as the french say, "Mange comme une vashe, parle comme un oiseau." Q:Huh? A:You're beatiful. Next question. Q:Oh yeah, uh... what if I was in a bar fight or something, and I wanted to deliver a crippling insult; what should I say? A:"Fait t'enculer," but only say it if your fists are already up. Q:That's hot! A:Isn't it though? Q:But surely, Mr. French-Man, even you must eventually return to the US; what movies do you, an acknowledged man of the world, recommend upon return? A: Ah, good question. It just so happens that I have with me a short list of all the movies I intend to see upon my return. Perhaps you've seen some of them. It's my pleasure to announce that one cool point will be awarded for each movie that you've seen, two if it has a star by it. Whoever in our TV/Listener audience has seen the most recieves one [i]Super[/i]-cool point. 1.Excalibur* 2.A Bridge Too Far 3.Lawrence of Arabia 4.Robin Hood (1936 version) 5.Captain Blood/The Seahawk 6.Battleground 7.The Longest Day 8.The English Patient 9.Aliens 10.Bringing Up Baby/Some other Cary Grant Movie 11.Light Horse 12.Galipoli 13.Wings 14.Dawn Patrol 15.American Beauty 16.Shallow Grave 17.Last of the Mohicans 18.Rope/Hitchock Movie 19.Casablanca* 20.Blues Brothers 21.1941 22.Jurassic Park 23.Mystery Science Theater 3000 24.The Spanish Prisoner* 25.Any pre-1980 Mel Brooks Movie 26.It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad World* 27. Snatch 28.The Sixth Day* 29.Robin Hood Prince of Thieves 30.Suicide Kings 31.O Brother Where Art Thou? 32.Raising Arizona 33.Falling Down* 34.Titus (w/Anthony Hopkins) 35.Richard III (w/ Ian McKlellan - sp?) 36.The Great Escape 37.Rising Sun* 38.All Quiet on the Western Front 39.Buster Keaton/Harold Lloyd/Charlie Chaplain Movie 40.Hamlet (w/Mel Gibson)* 41.Prisoner of Zenda 42.Full Metal Jacket 43.The Mummy 44.The City of Lost Children (French)* 45.The Visitors II (French)* 46.Who Framed Roger Rabbit? 47.The 3 Musketeers/4 Musketeers 48.Empire of the Sun 49.5 Graves to Cairo 50.Magnolia* *Denotes movie not yet seen by me. Q:Yeesh. That's a lot of movies. I'd better get going and watch them all before I run out of time. See ya later! A: Wait, no, damn! WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?! CALL ME?! My luck. Happens every damn time. Oh well. Tune in again next week at the same time. Please? Seriously; they want to cancel me, and I can't go back to the streets, I just can't! Help! I'm at your mercy! *end credits roll*[/quote]
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