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A New World Order
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Old Guard / Out of Character / A New World Order / Best 25 Games Ever (The Revised List)
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[quote][b]Solenis (Jul 31, 2004 01:29 p.m.):[/b] I've never actually played Xenogears. The guilt for this oversight plagued me for many years, but I could never quite commit myself to backtracking to this PSOne game (which is reputed to be extremely long-winded). I [i]have[/i] played Xenosaga, however. I read about it before it came out, about how its developer was a gathering of the refugees from Square who were fired after XG's release, and about how, by changing the names of the innocent and so on, they intended to make the complete sextilogy of which Xenogears had been volume five starting with [i]Xenosaga: Episode I - Der Wille zur Macht/[/i] so that they could throw their pretentiousness right out there in the open. I gave this game ten hours of my life, which is more than I usually give a bad game. The thing is, it didn't start out bad. I had known before I started that this game featured long and frequent cutscenes, but this idea didn't bother me. I like a game that tells an involved story. And if that had been the case here, I probably would have liked the game fine. But you see, the game didn't have a whole lot of plot, not that was presented in the first ten hours, anyway. But that didn't stop them from giving me 30 minute cutscenes about the crew of a scavenger ship and its passengers having dinner. No, nothing else happened while they were having dinner. The only dialogue consisted of "Mmm, this sure is good!" and "We should hire a woman to work on this ship so we can have food this good all the time!", etc. And no, I'm not exaggerating, that's almost word-for-word from the game. And then, at the end of this agonizing cutscene, my character, Shion (the cook who made these asses dinner and ate nothing and stood next to the table the whole time) must carry a plate down into the hold where another passenger who did not come to dinner is. I should impress upon you that for a ship with a crew complement of [i]four[/i], it has a lot of space inside. It takes me ten minutes to get there, and when I do, I'm treated to another cutscene has this passenger angrily refusing the food and knocking to the floor. Then I'm called to the bridge, at the other end of the damn ship. So I run there, and the captain (the one who wants to hire a woman to his crew) asks me to go check and make sure nothing's wrong with the engine room WHERE I JUST WAS. Apparently the intercom only works for summons, and not for statements like "Go check the engine room that's twenty feet from where you're already standing." So I run BACK to the far end of the ship, and I'm treated to another cutscene wherein Shion looks around, sees nothing, and starts away while a little spacial distortion appears as soon as her back is turned. She radios back to the bridge that everything looks fine, and they say, "Ok, guess it was nothing, come on back to the bridge." And at this point I threw down the controller in disgust and turned off the game and returned it to Hollywood Video, because I had no interest whatsoever in finding out what kind of pulse-pounding marathon foot-massage mini-game I would be awarded when I got back to the bridge. This is all by way of saying that I will never play another game with "xeno" in the title unless I have scoured the packaging and made sure that it has no connection to the Monolith developers. Maybe Xenogears was better -- hell, I'm [i]sure[/i] Xenogears would have to have been better. But I'll never play it. Oh, and for the record, Boots and the Anox crew r0x0r Solid Snake's b0x0rs. #5 best game ever ain't bad, and if he ain't happy with it he can see to it that MGS3 tops all previous installments, and then we'll see about getting him upgraded.[/quote]
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