There will, of course, be non-imaginary presents sometime in the near future (when I'm there to deliver them, of course) but for now you'll have to settle for...

THE HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADAM HAIKU FESTIVAL
(Before you start criticizing, I know this title is not in itself a haiku.)

To celebrate, I will now reveal my vast collection of Adam-related haiku poetry, all of which was written in a deep, contemplative mood and, I think, as an artist and poet, really reflects how we feel about our good friend Adam.
(And yes, I'm also aware this is not haiku. Jesus. Back off, already, it's about to begin.)

(Right...)

(Now.)

(Right then.)

(GO!)

The original haiku, that started it all...
Adam C. Lacoste
Nerdy, skinny, kind of odd
Yet? Not a bad guy.

On his pants...
Comfy, seductive...
Becca says no! No sharing!
But I want his pants!

On his cooking...
He burned Hot Pockets
And thought Hamburger Helper
Came with hamburger!

On his hair...
Giant pouf of hair
Here it comes to eat us all!
Run! Run for your lives!

Aren't you tired yet
Of all these awful haikus?
I'm not! So here's more!
(This was actually a haiku. So there.)

From Kat...
He tried to kill us
Ha! Silly Gabe, you got beat!
Stab stab stab stab stab!

From Jor...
A Gayrabian?
Didn't see that one coming
Hey, watch out, Sergei!

From Riya...
...........................
..................<blink>..................
...........................

From Rox...
I WAS'd on your books!
I defiled your library!
Teehee teehee hee.

And finally...

A classic...
Damn, I can't kill him
Otherwise Becca will cry
And Amy hates snot.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ADAM!
Here's one last haiku...

I used to hate you
But you're not so bad. In fact,
You have nifty pants!

And this concludes this year's episode of Adam-related birthday poetry... Until next year!