In actuality, every day had been a long once since he and Donovan had arrived at the International Fleet's central command post just a week earlier. Their time at the Creche Keep had been relatively short; five weeks, just enough time for the doctors to ensure that they were fit for duty, and to give them a little retraining course; and then they were shipped off again. Dominic was pleased with their placement, however, and willingly adjusted to the new routine. After all-- as long as Donovan was with him, he could have gone anywhere and been happy.

But he wasn't entirely content, and the source of his unease had a name.

Rox...

Six weeks now had passed since he and Donovan had been taken from Command School. Six weeks now had passed since he'd last seen Rox, and since his twin had last seen Dante. Their training hadn't prepared them to fall in love, but it helped to hide their grief, if only superficially. Donovan had grown detached from everyone far more than Dominic had expected, and as for himself, he found that he was slightly more perturbed than he should have been. So although his brother didn't seem to miss Dante, and he missed Rox more than he could be comfortable admitting, it was an undeniable fact that things were just not the same.

He sighed and entered the quarters that he and Donovan shared, not at all surprised to find the room empty. Communication between them had been strained for the past few days, but Dominic was almost too tired to care. If there was a serious problem, his twin would tell him. If not, then he would not be the one to ask.

The message light on his desk was blinking furiously, but he ignored it until he was undressed and ready for sleep. Only then did he pick up the desk and settle into his bed, logging onto the mail system and opening the letter he had received. Expecting a routine notice or note from another soldier, he was completely unprepared for the signature at the end of the long missive. Indigo eyes widened, a shocked smile beginning to move the corners of his lips, and Dominic laughed with delight. The writing was random, fractured and horrendously misspelled and unpunctuated, and his grin broadened as he read.

dear dommy--

it took me forever to find you the creche keep security didnt want to tell me where you went and neether did the if maneframe but last nite sumone i no said they saw you at the comand post and i manedged to get in. itll be ez to send mail now so you have no excuse to avoid me. i miss you sweets i wasnt sure if id ever find where you and donovan went. i hope you two are doing ok.

things have finaly settled down here there was a fucking huge uproar after you got taken away cause of the fite and all. we all got questuned but no one talked so i guess they gave up or sumthing and its not like any of us realy new what was going on anyway but oh well. busness has been slo cause they titened security up evrywhere and i cant get in too mutch trubble cause i greaduate soon so ive been good. the old hedmaster is back we herd that sumone arested that ia guy who burned rabin but no one realy nos for sure. nicolai tryed to mack on dante after donovan left but then she hit him and swede and mik beat him up realy bad and so he doesnt talk to us anymor but it was funny and evryone made fun of him for weeks and lem gave him so many demerets.

speeking of dante how is donovan. dont tell him im asking cause dante doesnt no im writting to you. she realy freeked after he left but now shes all quite and icy and she doesnt realy talk to anyone but me wich doesnt say mutch cause you cant realy call it talking but im worreed even tho she says shes fine. all she does is work and shes like wen nathan and her fot at battleschool. i dont no what to do but i culd give her a letter if donovan wants just let me no. you can tell him that theres been talk shell transfur to comand ait in a few months alredy wich is a hole year early and sumone even said wen lem and i greaduate in less than a year the administrashun mite give her pheenix. wouldnt that be awsum maybee sumday well be at the post togethr then you can make up for beeng gone and shell be nice agin. i no she misses you two even tho she doesnt say so.

oh gosh lots more is going on here but i want to no how you are doing so pleese rite back. hey i fourgot but there was sumthing i need to tell you. if you or don ever need anything like contraband or a hack or you no who i hang out with so anything ilegal basicly then theres sumone there you can talk to at the post. his name is mark mcavrey and hes a lootenant in the sistems tecnishin divison there and he alredy nos who you are so ask him and he can get you stuf ok. avreys the one who found you two for me so dont worry hes safe. ill make him keep an eye on you so you dont go out with other gurls.

i miss you lots and lots and wen landry finishs this camra hes bulding for me i can send you picturs. remembr to talk to avrey if you need anything and dont worry bout the cost cause he takes it frum my acounts. dont do anything i wouldnt do wich i no isnts mutch but stay out of trubble and tell donovan hi for me. rite me soon or else.

xoxo aichaku xoxo
roxy

There was no doubt the letter was genuine, and he laughed again as he pictured her writing it. Those chocolate eyes narrowed as she typed furiously, her half-smile when she had to bite her tongue to concentrate... he should have known she would have found a way to contact him. Now he never had to worry, because he could always reach her; if he couldn't have her beside him, then this was the next best thing.

Dominic ran a hand through his spiked hair, midnight eyes sparkling, and was still laughing softly to himself when the door to his room opened and Donovan entered. There was nothing he could do to hide the amusement and affection and slight tinge of guilt in his gaze, and his brother's silent question remained unanswered for a long moment as he debated whether or not to show him the letter.

If he got a letter from Dante about Rox, I'd expect him to show me. How can I refuse him the same? I know he misses her, even if he doesn't show it. I have to let him see this.

"Rox got a letter through, bro. Would... would you care to read?"

Don was immediately suspicious.

It hadn't always been this way. Donovan still trusted his twin with his life. It just didn't feel like that was anything important anymore. Dominic had not fallen into the same pit Donovan had with Dante. Dominic had jumped in after him of his own accord and latched on to Roxy instead, and though the result seemed the same, somehow Donovan didn't feel they equated. Their time together since his separation from Dante had made him cling to Dominic with a much tighter grip. There was only Dominic, and that made it impossible for him to bring up anything that might put them at odds with each other, and so Dante remained an untouched subject.

Untouched, but far from gone.

They had passed the review, after they'd been retrieved and healed. Even miserable and alone, Donovan was scared enough to emulate his brother as flawlessly as he could, and it had been enough to trick their monitors into thinking they were intact. Donovan even made himself believe they were intact, during the review; it made it easier, after he'd convinced himself, to convince them. It wasn't until after they'd finish and begun their retraining that he became aware of how far apart they really were.

Strangers.

Dominic had not suffered the way Donovan had when they were taken from Command School. Donovan couldn't talk to his brother about Dante; he was trying to convince himself that it had been nothing more than an infatuation, a flight of fancy...perhaps a small slip. Not love. Donovan couldn't talk to his brother about Dante, because he could lie to his reviewers, and he could lie to himself...but he couldn't lie to his twin.

Dom was laying on the bed and smiling when he entered, and he slowed his pace and met his eyes questioningly as the door slid shut behind him. His brother gave him a long look, and the calculation he glimpsed behind the indigo eyes exactly like his own made him wince internally and hardened his features. That his brother would have to think that long before deciding to tell him what was going on stung, more deeply than he wanted to admit.

"Rox got a letter through, bro. Would... would you care to read?" Dom sounded half-hearted, like he wasn't sure what to say or whether or not he really wanted to let him read the letter.

Don took the proferred desk wordlessly and focused on the screen without reading the words so he would have a reason not to cry.

Strangers.

His initial pleasure faded, for how he could be happy if his twin were not? It was selfish, it was deplorable, and it was something that caused him immeasurable grief. He wanted Donovan to be happy. He wanted to see his twin smile again, hear him laugh again-- anything, even cry again. The tears his brother had shed that first night in the infirmary had not gone unseen, and even if Dominic had been capable of speaking then, he still wouldn't have said a word. He didn't need to. He understood.

Or rather, he thought he understood. Certainly he wanted to be able to, but part of him continued to silently acknowledged the truth no matter how much he refused to admit. They were separate now, and the barrier between them was a wall that Dominic would have done anything to breach.

Dominic loved Rox, and he missed her terribly, but he had known they would be separated eventually and had resigned himself to it. He knew he would see her again someday, and he was patient. He could wait. What he couldn't resign himself to, what he couldn't just accept and live with, was that his brother was just as gone. He may have lived beside him, they might spend their days and nights together as always, but where once silent understanding had been all they needed, all that remained was terrifying distance.

When I look into your eyes now, my kin, they don't speak to me.

And now Donovan was fostering that break with his forced smile and hollow blessing. His withdrawal was a stab to Dominic's heart, and he placed the desk aside and rested his head in his hands, staring blankly at the floor as his thoughts raced by in glancing blows.

Why was his brother keeping him at arm's length? Since when did they become so different tat they could no longer talk, could no longer see and sympathize and know one another? All Dominic wanted was to be with Donovan, to be with Rox and Dante again, to love and watch his twin's face shine with that happiness he used to have. Donovan had fallen in love and Dominic had followed suit. Donovan had been hurt and Dominic had fought to protect him. Donovan was taken back to the Creche and Dominic went with him. When Donovan had been placed here at the command post, so had Dominic.

Dominic would have followed Donovan to the ends of the earth.

And yet you hide yourself from me now.

He stood slowly and moved closer to Donovan, waiting until his brother turned around to face him before placing his hands on his shoulders and staring into those midnight eyes. Where once it might have been like looking into a mirror, it was no longer, and his blurry reflection was nearly too much to withstand.

But he could not let this go on any further, for fear of losing Donovan, for fear of losing himself. When he finally managed to find his voice, it was barely a whisper, but he knew his twin would hear him. He could only hope that his twin would understand him.

"I'm scared, Donovan." A clumsy start, but he struggled on, and if his words weren't very coherent, then at least the pain in his indigo gazed proved his sincerity. "I... I love Rox, and I miss her, and I know you love Dante and miss her too. I know because don't we do everything together? I couldn't help it either... but why won't you talk to me? Don't you think I'll understand?" He continued without waiting for an answer, afraid that if he stopped before he was finished, Donovan might pull away. "I don't want you to say 'congratulations' and turn away. Didn't you read her letter? Everything can be okay, Donovan, we can still have them. So what if we wait? You are here with me and that's all we need until then, right?" He sighed and shook his head. "I feel as if I can't talk to my own brother anymore, and I don't know what to do. If that's what you want, then just tell me, please." Dominic dropped his hands to his sides, imagining the moment when he had thought he had lost his twin forever, just a bare six weeks ago, and he did something he had not done in years. He hadn't needed to, until now.

Dominic hugged Donovan, tightly, and said the only words his heart was capable of speaking.

Donovan hugged his brother back tightly. It felt good, because Donovan hadn't felt close to his brother since they'd left the station, and bad, because he hadn't hugged his brother in a long time, for the same reason he didn't hug himself. There had been no need; there was nothing to reassure. They had simply been together, and immune to the world because of it. No one else had been real to them, not really, not even the other creche children, when they were allowed to interact.

Not until Dante.

Dante had broken his lifetime of reserve in a pitifully brief amount of time, his firsthand insight into her shattered life giving him a glimpse of her reality he had been unable to set aside. In the space of a few days, he had lost the insulating shield that was vital to his existence and fallen in love. He remembered Dominic's terrified rage when he told him, their frantic scrambling to find a way to make Dominic understand before review hit. Unable to pull his brother out of the trap he'd fallen into, Dominic had done the only other thing he could to remain by his side; he'd taken Rox's hand and jumped in after him. As frightening as the new territory was, they would be in it together, and Donovan had begun to feel safe again.

And then Mode had taken their fragile new existence and broken it into little pieces. He'd been resigned to losing Dante eventually, after their six months until graduation was up, but he hadn't realized until he'd been in the infirmary with a broken neck how little he'd thought things through.

He did not belong to himself. He belonged to the Creche. How could he give himself to one person, to any person, when he did not own himself to give? Dante was lost to him, unless the Creche happened to place him close enough to her for their love to continue. At any moment, he and Dominic could be removed without explanation and without choice and placed on Earth, on a ship, millions of miles away from Dante and anyone else he ever considered loving. Dominic would be with him; Dominic was safe. He had no power of decision over his fate, and that meant anyone he ever loved could be nothing more to him than a brief interlude, subject to immediate and eternal separation at the whim of his masters.

In his life, Donovan had only loved his brother and Dante. Donovan did not know how to give love that tolerated the possiblity of unending separation. He knew Dominic must also be suffering, but only with his mind. His heart was too wounded to consider anyone but himself.

What good would it be now to trade letters with Dante, when he had no assurance of seeing her again? They could be shipped away tomorrow. Even should they remain on the IF Command Post for the rest of their lives, would Dante? If she did...what of it? They could never marry, never have children. They would be doomed to a perennial state of stealthy intermediate affection, never allowed to show it openly, never allowed to progress. Why go through that pain, when there would never be a happy resolution?

Because Donovan was his twin, Dominic held his brother close and gave him all the support he could. He forced himself to forget how he had scorned Donovan's love for Dante in the beginning-- after all, hadn't he been more the willing to do the same? Reserve that should have saved him before returned to him now, and even as he hugged Donovan tightly, when his eyes opened the tears were already gone.

Because Donovan was his twin, Dominic was going to find a way to make him happy again.

No matter what it took to do so.

Dominic understood, this time, why his brother grieved. His hand moved of its own volition to rest lightly on the back of Donovan's neck, over his identification barcode, and he sighed. He knew why he had never wanted to fall in love. He knew what had kept him from ever reaching out to another. He knew because he wore that same brand, and being Creche meant he was just someone else's property. But that didn't mean they could never be happy. He wouldn't let it. There had to be a way to ensure that someday they would see their girls again, that they could live together and just be in love like normal human beings.

His midnight eyes widened as he experienced a terrifying epiphany. Maybe there wasn't a way. But maybe there was... and that possibility to achieve happiness had a name he knew all too well.

Dr. Litong.

Would his Creche doctor understand? It was a frightening risk. If anyone discovered that they were not intact, that they had broken their conditioning at its most fundamental level, then they would be sold, they would be separated not just from Dante and Rox, but from eachother. But if it worked... if Dr. Litong cared for them enough to want them to be happy, then there just might be a way. What, Dominic did not know. How, he did not know either. But he had to try. For Donovan. For himself.

No, for Donovan. Always for Donovan.

He gently disengaged from his brother's embrace and took a step back, meeting that tortured gaze and those tearwet indigo eyes with his own. Resolve washed over him at the sight of his twin so distressed, and when Dominic spoke, it was with quiet determination and the upmost reassurance.

"We will find a way, Donovan."

He had spent the weeks they'd had at the Post convincing himself that he didn't need Dante. That goal had been a complete failure. After that became evident, he'd spent his time convincing himself that he didn't want Dante, not when he couldn't ever enjoy their love the way he wanted to. That had been slightly more successful, but it just allowed him to function, nothing more, and it took away whatever consolation his small light of hope might have given him.

His emotional distance from Dominic hadn't warranted any close inspection, because he couldn't step far enough away from it to examine like he could with his love for Dante. His entire life had been structured around that ability, to step back from anyone and anything long enough to do whatever his masters asked him to do. Everyone but Dominic. Without even his brother to hold him up, Donovan's soul had begun a slow collapse.

Donovan had been living in despair.

Now that support was back, and Don was trying to figure out what the use was. He did feel better about Dominic. He was happy for Dominic, though he wasn't sure why. Somehow his brother had managed to reconcile himself to Roxy's absence...but Roxy was older than Dante. Dominic had less time to wait. Still, the result would be the same; Dominic would have to be careful to make sure no one found out the depth of his affection. He and Roxinne would never be married or have children or live together openly.

That made Donovan sad, more so than his predicament with Dante. He loved his twin, and that Dominic had resigned himself and seemed to be looking forward to Roxy's return made him even sadder, in a way. How could he be happy like that? Don was happy to have his brother back, but without Rox and Dante to live out their lives with in peace and freedom, it was only company for his misery.

--i stil cant beleeve you told him after i told you not to. does he no what were trying to do or are we doing this all behind his back, dom. i didnt tell jeli yet but i think shes getting suspisus that im up to sumthing. are we realy going thru with this.--

--You knew I'd tell him, so don't pretend it was a surprise. I had to tell him. But I'm not telling him about this, and you can't tell Dante. I don't even know if it'll work, and you know how much of a risk it is.--

--i no thats why i keep teling you its a bad idea. its only a year cant we wate that long. i dont mind you no that sweets but if your creche guy doesnt agre you culd be sent away forevr. why do we hafta do this wont donovan wate too. maybe theres sumthing else we can do that isnt so hard.--

--That's why I'm worried; I'm not sure he will. He's doing the same thing Dante's doing to you, Rox. We barely even talk. I've never seen him like this before, and if this works, it'll be better. We don't have any other ideas, and this seems like our best chance. Wouldn't you like to be here with us?--

--course i do thats a ridiculus questun. but beter to wate than nevr see you agin. i dont see why don didnt rite back i thot hed want to talk to jeli or sumthing. is that why were doing this. hell be mad if he finds out.--

--I know he will, and that's why we're not saying anything. Don't freak out about it, okay? It's not as if this is definite yet. I'm just going to write a note to Dr. Litong asking him for a private audience. If he doesn't show up, or it just doesn't seem right, then I won't say anything, and we'll be back to thinking up another plan anyway.--

--i hate this dommy. even if your stil there when i greadate who nos how long til they ship you of. im tired of pretending that its going to be okay. what if it isnt. what if they sell you cause they find out about us. what then.--

--I can't promise that won't happen, Roxy, but if this works then who knows? Maybe they'll assign us here permanently, and when you and Dante come, we won't have to worry about hiding anymore. Maybe we can get married. I don't know! I'm tired of this too, but I want to do what's right, and just giving up is not right.--

--i just dont want to see this backfire. then insted of wating well just lose evrything. im scared of that.--

--Me too, love, me too. I keep telling myself that it's better to try and fail then never try at all, but it's hard. If Donovan found out he'd hate me for certain, but it feels like I don't have any other choice.--

--i dont wanna talk about this anymor. send your thing to the dr. i wont tell anyone. i shuld go.--

--Roxdoll, don't be angry, please.--

--im not angry at you im angry that we evn have to wory about this in the first plase. i wish i had millons of dollars so i culd just by you two myself and the stuped creche wuld let us do what we want. this is such kuso.--

--I wish that too, but there isn't anything we can do to change how things are right now. Just hope that this works, and I'll write you tomorrow morning, alright? Sleep well, love.--

--yeah sweet dreams. tell don hi. nite dommy. aichaku.--

--Aichaku, Roxy.--

Technology was a wonderful thing, but having his relationship with Rox exist solely through the computer networks only reminded him painfully how far apart they were.

Dominic sighed, and steeled himself as he called up the short missive he'd written to Dr. Litong. If this plea failed, he could lose Donovan, he could lose Rox, he could lose everything. But if it worked... if it worked, then everything could be his. Then he could be happy, and more importantly, Donovan could be happy. Dom closed his eyes, silently prayed to his brother for forgiveness, and hit the send key.

He'd just jumped from the cliff, and only time and Dr. Litong would tell if there was someone to catch him before he hit the bottom.

He sat down on the edge of one of the bunks and studied the wall, his elbows on his knees. Something was very wrong here. Something was bothering Dominic, he could tell; that much of their bond remained. Unfortunately, where before he could have determined in an instant of deduction precisely what was troubling his twin, now he could only make vague random guesses, and Dominic might not have talked to him about it anyway.

I miss you, my brother. I miss Dante. She is my heart. You are my soul.

Dominic had gone through his entire life without even once being truly alone. For a brief, glittering moment he had managed to have everything he wanted, Dante and Dominic and quiet understanding, and that moment ended with a sound like tree branches snapping in his skull when Mode broke his neck. He'd awoken later to discover that Dante was lost to him. His realization that his brother was just as gone in his own way as Dante was hadn't come until later.

It was better than it had been. Dominic was aware of the problem too, and as before, as always, they were practically inseperable. Still, it wasn't what it had been. Their mutual misery brought them closer, but it also drove them apart. They needed resolution. They needed closure. They needed to know.

I don't want you to die! I'm sorry, Donovan, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

He shook, and his knees felt weak, making him stumble forward a step as Donovan held him by the shoulders and tried to get him to speak. With unimaginable pain in his indigo eyes, mirrored by concern and fright in Don's, Dominic managed a strangled sob and buried his face against his twin's shoulder, mumbling incoherently in his frantic fear. "I'm... sorry, Litong... Mode... saw him..."

Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me...

Donovan stiffened, and Dom pulled away, his reserve somehow masking most of his hysteria, but the edges were bleeding through, and he averted his gaze from his brother. He had to tell him, he had to... but he was so selfish, and wanted to keep their tentative peace. Donovan would hate him, and Dominic would lose the one person who could make him whole. Then it wouldn't even matter if he couldn't have Rox. Without his twin, Dom was nothing; nothing but a body and a tired mind. He wouldn't have a soul. He wouldn't be alive.

You brought this upon yourself. Now tell him, and it will be over. At least you'll have died trying.

"I... I requested a private audience with Dr. Litong." He paused, choked, and continued in a shaky voice. "He knew something was wrong, and I told him... I told him about Rox... and he..." A bone-chilling blankness had slipped across Donovan's face, and Dominic nearly cried to see that withdrawn aura over his own brother. "I just wanted... to fix things, to make you happy again... and I left and came back and I was in the hallways and I saw Mode here but he didn't see me, but he's alive and he wasn't imprisoned and Donovan, I'm sorry!"

The last was said all in one breath, and after the rush of confession, Dominic paled and lowered his head.

It was over.

Unfortunately, his fury rallied first, momentarily pushing aside the other conflicting emotions and taking center stage, taking control. The mention of sighting Mode didn't even register. He told on us. He told Litong about us, about Dante. About Roxy. They're going to kill us or sell us and I'm never going to see her again, and it's his fault.

For the second time since they had been, Donovan laid hands on his brother in anger, wrapped them into Dominic's uniform and yanked him forward. They were of identical height, and this brought the indigo eyes precisely like his own within a few inches. They were wide with shock, and he glared into them with all the rage he'd been holding in check since he got here, since they'd been robbed of the little time left to them.

"SORRY?! You had NO right to do that, you stupid fool! You had no right! You just fucked my last chance to see her again, and we're dead now, as good as dead, and all you have to say is you're SORRY?!"

The rest of his emotion finally muscled aside enough anger to come to the front, and he released Dominic. He didn't shove him away, just released him and dropped his arms to his sides. There was no reason to expend any more energy, any more hatred. Their lives were already ended. What did it matter? Dominic had been trying to help them, albeit in an incredibly blind fashion. Knocking his brother around wouldn't change anything.

It was done.

I have offered my own brother as sacrifice for my blindness. I have broken his trust, and his love, and his soul. I have forsaken my own beloved. I have killed them all.

Despair left him in a long choked sigh, and the rest of his emotion followed. Donovan was lost to him, Rox was lost to him; Dominic stood in the middle of that room, alone, and remembered when he had watched Mode break Donovan's neck in the engineering bay of Command School. He heard the crack of bone, the silent breathless whisper of life leaving, and straightened unconsciously as the same thoughts that had kept him alive then came back to strengthen him now.

No. I placed Donovan in danger with Mode, and he paid for my schemes. I have done it again, but I will save him. I will save him, and even if he never forgives me, at least he will be alive. At least he'll have Dante.

"No," he said aloud, and Donovan glanced up with weariness in those midnight eyes. Dom glared with furious desperation and kneeled before his brother, shaking with the effort to restrain himself. "No, you're not going to die, I won't let you. He's going to help us. He said so, he said he wants to help. He will, I'll make him, but I promise to you, brother, that he won't separate us. I promise."

Dominic didn't want him to do that. Dominic wanted him to fight.

Donovan was tired of fighting. He wanted to rest. He wanted to be sure of something, even if that something was his own impending demise. He wanted stability, even if it meant losing all hope. He wanted to be safe, but not from death. He wanted to be safe from disappointment, and total despair was enticingly secure.

But...

But Dominic was still there. Donovan could hear him breathing, could feel his heartbeat despite the three feet that separated them. There was nothing of Dominic that Donovan could have missed. Had he been blind and deaf he would have known his twin was next to him. He could tell how close Dominic was to abandoning hope, and for a few moments he considered letting him crumble. They would despair together.

However much he wanted to, however easy it would have been, Donovan couldn't let Dominic slip into the same state he would have accepted for himself. He couldn't betray his brother like that; Donovan had been the one to bring their unhappiness about in the first place. He couldn't let Dominic suffer for that, not even if he'd ruined their chances of seeing the girls again, or at least reduced them dramatically.

For Dominic, Donovan would hope.

He hadn't attempted to contact the twins. Any warning on his part might push them into doing something drastic before he arrived, and that was not what he wanted at this point. Donovan and Dominic had spent nearly a week thinking he was going to turn them in, and if they had drawn different conclusions after the first few days, a missive from him could still have pushed them over the edge. He wanted to tell them himself that he'd been wrong, or at least that he had been hasty.

The permission for leave had been rescinded, at his request. Anything between his twins and the two Command School students would take its own course, without his interference. He granted his aid in refusing to tell the Keep about their conditioning violations. If he was right, their performance would improve, and they would be happy. If he was wrong, people would be hurt, and they would die. Of all the different experiments he'd run on Donovan and Dominic, this was one of the most simple...and by far the most important.

He should have been more concerned about the outcome than he was about his incipient revelation. He should have been more worried about their long-term reaction to the broken conditioning instead of their immediate reaction to his news.

Faith had come to Dr. Litong late in life, but it had come nonetheless.

Time passed, Litong paced, and at last the docking notification sounded. The doors parted, and if he had thought it at all possible to escape unnecessary notice, Dr. Litong would have run the distance to the barracks. He settled for a quick pace, and after some hunting located the proper deck, the proper corridor. The proper door.

The nights were worst. He dreamed of Mode and Rox and the Creche, and the feel of the blade against his throat.

When the door chime sounded, Dominic was afraid to answer it.

It wasn't Donovan; he wouldn't have hesitated to enter, and even if he had, Dominic would have known it was him outside that door. It could be anyone else; an officer, Litong... the MPs, there to arrest him and take him away, back to the Creche and separation and death. If Litong had spoken to him before, or had just disappeared, he might almost have accepted certain end or certain safety. Rox's letter had not given him hope. It gave him despair, and fear.

dommy he came and tride to talk to me, and he sade you didnt love me and you wuldnt no how, and that i culd see you but that it was only cause you just wanted... he ment no aichaku dommy and i got mad and yeled and im sory i didnt meen to get you in trubble im so sory pleese rite back, im so afrade...

Dominic sighed, and stood, and resigned himself to whatever fate held for him.

He palmed open the door, and Litong was on the other side. Something flickered in those midnight eyes before he could stop it, and he drew away, taking a few steps back as the lines of his face hardened and he tried not to shake.

Litong regarded him calmly, wondering to himself that this boy before him who by all rights should never have to fear anything from an inferior, unenhanced human like himself backed away with enough alacrity to make it seem like he might physically come to harm if he remained any closer.

"He's not here," he said quietly, but his voice was cold. His muscles were still tense, and his hands began to shake before he could stop the tremors. It didn't matter.

His eyes narrowed. "You told Rox I didn't love her." He regained a step closer to Litong. "How dare you."

Dom passed a hand over his face and ran fingers through his hair, exhaling loudly as he sat down heavily on the edge of his bed. Across the room, Rox was watching him with a sharp, pointed expression on her little face, and although he'd managed to hide his reaction rather well, he knew that it hadn't escaped her notice.

"I'm not that stupid, Dommy. You got all googly-eyed when you read the list. Who is it?" She took the papers he'd been reading and scanned the list of newly arrived soldiers, searching for the source of his discomfiture. When she looked up, Dom avoided her gaze, and Rox was instantly suspicious. "Is it someone bad? Is it a girl?"

Dom didn't answer immediately, as he was busy trying to find a way to circumvent her questions. Rox always left her papers scattered about the room, and Dom usually at least glanced at them, perpetually curious as to what she might be up to. Finding the month's arrival list was interesting, and he'd been casually scanning it until a name caught his attention.

Moira Windhaven.

Wick.

It shouldn't have been particularly significant news, it reallly shouldn't have, but for some reason it was bothering him. He'd known that she'd be arriving eventually, but he hadn't known how strongly he'd react to seeing her name on that list. It had spurned the little voice of temptation inside him to snide laughter, and having long ago sworn he wouldn't let that temptation play with Rox, he was busy trying to subdue it again. Memories flooded over him, lust and anger and a brutal sense of satisfaction, and Dom was hard put to keep the smirk from his face.

"It's nothing, precious. You're all worked up over nothing."

"Hmmph, I'm not gonna believe that. If you don't wanna tell me, fiiiiiine. I'm late for work anyway." Rox stuck her tongue out at him before flouncing angrily from the room, and Dom watched her go in silence. It wouldn't make any difference if he apologized now or not; the damage was done, and she'd forget about it soon enough, anyway.

He needed to think. Now what do I do? Moira Windhaven. She must have married that green Jor. That's interesting. He flopped back onto the bed and lay staring at the ceiling, idly tapping his fingertips against his stomach. That's an old list. I can't believe I missed her arrival more than a month ago. Slipping, Dom. His eyes closed as he tried to think. I haven't seen her in... what? Four years? Five? I can't keep track. I wonder... I wonder if she still plays.

I wonder if she'd like to play again.

A grin started to spread, and he quickly beat it down into submission, his brow furrowing as he reprimanded himself. No. I said I wasn't going to do that again. But really, would it hurt to talk to her? I don't think it would. Rox and Don don't have to know.

"Wick, Wick, Wick," he muttered to himself, before swinging his feet to the floor and standing. He took a moment to straighten his uniform, checking his reflection in the mirror, and there was a look in his eyes that he hadn't seen in too long.